Writer: Naseem Randhawa

Writer Ratings:
Overall: 1.5 Out of 5
Cast: 1.5 Out of 5
Plot: 1.5 Out of 5
Effects: 2.0 Out of 5
Cinematography: 1.5 Out of 5

Watch this if you liked: "Scary Movie 4", "A Haunted House", "Vampires Suck" & "Epic Movie"

If you thought the last "Scary Movie" was bad, wait until you see this fifth instalment. Without the addition of franchise favourites Anna Faris and Regina Hall, the characters of "Scary Movie 5" are bland at best and fail miserably with their sense of comedy. Well after all, what do you expect in a film that relies heavily on two has-beens Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan in all its promotional events, who by the way appear only briefly in the film.

With that being said, the opening scene itself featuring the beat-up stars filming a sex tape (as themselves!) is just plain crude and awkward, not the funny kind of crude either, which was one of the driving forces for the first two (good) "Scary Movie" films.

The problem about this movie apart from it jumping from one parody scene to the next, like bad Saturday Night Live skits forgoing the proper flow of a narrative, is the proverbial leads Ashley Tisdale ("High School Musical") and Simon Rex ("Scary Movie 4") playing a married couple whom lack comedic timing or the believable comical expressions of Anna Faris, Shawn Wayans and Marlon Wayans who led the first few films with their charm.

Watch the film with not expecting a good laugh or a scare in mind, but for the parodies of "Cabin In The Woods", "Black Swan", "Mama", "Rise Of The Planet Of The Apes", "Paranormal Activity" and of course, the infamous "Fifty Shades Of Grey" which is only featured in this 'Scary Movie' to obviously drag in the mummy porn novel fans as it serves no overall purpose to the film.

But however horribly nonsensical the plot is, it does have quite the list of star cameos that include Snoop Dogg (sorry, it's Snoop Lion now), Mac Miller, Terry Crews, Usher, Christina Ricci, Kendra Wilkinson, Mike Tyson and a whole lot more which prove to be more entertaining to spot and notice when they appear on film than the rest of the story anyway.

The film is a good lazy Sunday night popcorn flick, but is honestly not funny at all when you have this particular group of cast on board especially when they have to carry out this lazy series of dull vignettes. Bring back Anna Faris, Regina Hall and the Wayan brothers, and the franchise may just rise from the dead.

Cinema Online, 05 May 2013